I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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