Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
