I CAN MOONWALK!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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