Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
