Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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