omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
