were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
