I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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