im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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