if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
