Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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