All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
