Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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