I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
false alarm, still single
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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