Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
