I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
