she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
