well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sex in a hospital.. check
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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