The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
