It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Someone signed my nipple.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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