just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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