Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
