i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
