And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I love having hate sex.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
