ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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