you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
