ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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