So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
