How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
