Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
