i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
