Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
