and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
