my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
