i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
