It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
