Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
