And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
