Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
