It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
