dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
drinking out of a sandbucket again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
