I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
