I love black thongs
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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