You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
