Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We're too hungover to prance.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
