yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
