I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
