i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
