I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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