32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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