I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
