She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
