if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
